I am in the process of revamping both books and merging them into one! My idea is to remove some of the more "extreme" stuff and make it a little more mainstream for the vanilla ladies. But that may take a few months, so if you would like to be one of the last to see the naughtier versions, I suggest you snatch them up now. When the new one is done, I'll be removing these from the market completely.
Hmmm. Collector items!
Meanwhile, I came across this in New Scientist magazine (yes, I am an egghead) and it really underscores the crux of my findings in exploring the art of spanking men. Although, as you may be aware, I don't believe that domestic spanking and S & M or BDSM are in the same category. As I say in my books, domestic spanking is all about feeling connected, and BDSM is about feeling disconnected.
But, I think you'll find the article fascinating, especially some of it's scientific discoveries. And some of the responses to the online version are quite interesting as well.
Enjoy!
Monica Wilder
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New Scientist Magazine
30 March 2009 by Linda Geddes
Magazine issue 2701.
Spanking 'brings couples together'
It might not look like fun, but spanking can make couples closer
(Image: Clandestini / WestEnd61 / Rex Features)
SPANKING is stressful at first, but it could bring consenting couples closer together. That's the implication of two studies of hormonal changes associated with sadomasochistic (S&M) activities including spanking, bondage and flogging.
Brad Sagarin at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb and colleagues measured levels of the stress hormone cortisol in 13 men and women at an S&M party in Arizona, before, during and after participating in activities. During S&M scenes, cortisol rose significantly in those receiving stimulation, but dropped back to normal within 40 minutes if the scene went well. There was no change in those inflicting the activity.
At an S&M event in Colorado, testosterone was measured in 45 men and women. It increased significantly in receiving women only. Donatella Marazziti of the University of Pisa, Italy, says the boost may help women cope with the aggressive nature of S&M activities, or that it could be another sign of stress. In both studies, couples who said the party went well also reported increases in relationship closeness (Archives of Sexual Behavior, DOI: 10.1007/s10508-008-9374-5).
It's important to note that levels of both hormones dropped back down in couples who enjoyed the experience, Marazziti says. "When sexual intercourse is consensual it is not stressful - even if it is extreme sex."
Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire in Hatfield, UK, adds that almost any shared activity is likely to promote interpersonal closeness. "It doesn't have to be tying up your partner or placing clamps on their nipples, it could be something as simple as cooking a meal together or even doing the housework as a duo," he says.
Nick Neave, a psychologist at the University of Northumbria, UK, says the results are interesting, but future studies should control for whether participants experienced orgasm, which is associated with reduced stress and an increase in hormones associated with partner-bonding and affection.
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And here are some of the comments!
"Humans engage in diverse activities that create pleasure and fun from "stress". Horror films, rollercoasters, pranks, rough sports, caving, bungee jumping and so on. Some research links their pleasure (rollercoasters) to the cortisol release. But their stress is controlled stress--a tease since while one of the brain is put in fear or distress, another knows it is safe. The experience is positive--excitement. The same applies to SM."
"I have had a permanent spankee living with me for the last 2 years. We met via a spanking group website of which there are thousands these days. Our relationship depends on far more than spanking, but spanking is definitely the cement that holds the 'bricks' together. "
"Essentially it is a series of trust exercises focusing around sex. As each exercise is completed, you have the reinforcement through trust being maintained and sexual closeness. This seems obvious when you hear about it. Interesting story."
"Richard Wiseman says that it doesn't have to be SM; simply doing the housework together can achieve the same results."
"Really? Housework certainly fits in well with S/M in my books. Pure torture by any standard."
"The article makes perfect sense and I believe S&M is perfectly harmless and totally the business of the adults involved except for the two models in your photo. Does that woman know she's spanking the wrong end? It seems the guy is experiencing a little more pain than pleasure because his partner is thrashing his lower back instead of his rear end. Please warn your readers not to copy this!"
"I don't believe in spanking, but in soft manners and whispers, touching and holding while having long sessions of love making. Love should be soft and delicate."
"That's your taste, you can't expect everyone to enjoy the same type of sex as you do just as you can't expect people to enjoy the same food or movies etc. Many couples who enjoy S&M enjoy the kind of love making you talk about too. There's no reasons why people shouldn't experiment and feel free to do whatever turns them on. Variety is the spice of live and all those other cliches!"
There is something deeply cool about such activities from a scientific perspective. It's the mean struggle of life with reproduction at the end for those who get through the trials of life. NATURE is a dominatrix if you look at it that way. It's a natural microcosm of the whole process that brought humans into existence -- seems quite natural to include it in reproductive relationships."
"Although I cannot speak to the physiologic aspects of spanking and the positive impact on a marriage or LTR, I can share my own experiences. I have surrendered myself and eagerly await the nightly spanking session. I find that this release allows me to maintain focus and as a result, I am more productive and happier. We do increase the intensity for corrective measures and I find this not only helpful in my own life, but the corrective punishment has elevated our marriage to a more enlightened state."
"...future studies should control for whether participants experienced orgasm..." That goes beyond S&M and into the realm of TPE.
"Well that's not an uncommon thing to say for a lifestyler, but I am referring to an Australian study where stress and psychological level were investigated in a group of lifestylers versus a group of people not active in BDSM. It proved that those that were into BDSM were better psychologically balanced and coped better in stressful situations."
"Spanking definitely relieves stress for us. I am often very tense and wound up before my husband spanks me, and he can be as well, especially if he is annoyed with me about something. But 'taking it out on your bottom' as he puts it does him a lot of good as well as me, he has high blood pressure, and he has found by experiment that it is inevitably lower after he spanks me than before."
Hmmmm. Food for thought.
